Seven Quick Ways I Get Even With My Human

by Left

I found this on the internet one day and decided I needed to share this with my friends, I added a few little tidbits of my own so here goes, and I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

1. When your human gets up in the middle of the night for a midnight snack, be in his spot when he comes back to bed. Spread out. Cover as much acreage as you can. Pretend to be asleep. Chances are he won't disturb you and will go sleep on the couch. Ahhhhh life is good!

2. When your human sleeps past feeding time, play cat hockey with items on the headboard. Loose change and watches are easy to knock onto the bed. You score one point for each 'puck' that whacks your human on the forehead, and be sure to boink his nose with your cold wet nose, that always works.

3. When your human goes to all the trouble to change the litter in the cat box, use it right away. And be sure to toss a few grains of litter out of the box onto the floor. You don't want it looking unused for too long. (Of course Sassy's favorite is to crawl in the box while he is changing it)

4. When your human puts down food you don't like, never touch it. Sniff it. Look at your human and then back at the food, turn your back. Scratch your paw on the floor in an attempt to cover up the food. He will get the message. Then, DO NOT TOUCH THE FOOD UNTIL THE NEXT MORNING. It's quite a statement when he has to take the old, crusted lump of lard back to the sink to run it down the disposal. (I do this all the time and my human starts to feel soooo guilty). You can end up with some pretty good stuff doing this.

5. When your human hands out kitty treats, look for the hidden meaning. Trips to the vet or baths are usually close at hand. Never approach any treat-bearing human within their arms' reach. I make my human place the treat on the floor and wait until he backs up. Then enjoy.

6. When your human lays out his clothes on the bed each morning, make sure you sit on them while he is in the shower, mine wears an all black uniform, nice!! Nothing is more fun than the look of the my human stepping out of the shower to see your white cat hair decorating his freshly laundered black trousers.

7. While coughing up a hairball, be as dramatic as you can, your human will race to get a paper towel (or something) to place under your chin to catch the surprise. Let him prepare all he wants. Then, at the last moment, turn your head. I have found that his shoe is the best place, but his chair or right in front of his door if it is the middle of the night are also good.

Remember!!! Keep him guessing, makes for a fun household.